I'm not real;I want to be real.

girls just wanna have fun, i just want to laugh
tell me a joke

can we all just stop talking about how fucked up i am
i get it, im a hot mess
but can i please just have some good old fashioned uncontrollable laughter because i am having such a great time with genuinely enjoyable people
i promise i will deal with myself, scouts honor
i just want everything to not be be so damned serious for a one single moment
i want to be a hysterical wreck of giggly tears over the silliest most mind numbingly unimportant non-issues this generation has to offer
and then in the midst of the uproarious chaos
i will focus in on a pressing concern and i will consider the hell out of all my dysphoria
until life is just a little less difficult than yesterday and tomorrow is slightly more inviting than last week
and i will trust & love you all the more because you are willing to laugh with me before buckling down to fix me
&one day it will be pleasant and effortless to interact with &care for these enigmatic exhaustions called people
because right now i don’t feel anything
speaking words is the greatest feat
my energy is depleted simply considering a conversation involving words
sit with me in silence, or laugh with me in breathless glee
these are the only options left if ever there can be a you & me

looking back through some posts & here i thought my depression was a recent development, at least now i know i’m deluded and depressed

Generally speaking, i hate cats. 
This is no exception, this is an Ewok.

Generally speaking, i hate cats.
This is no exception, this is an Ewok.

i’ve been in the running for worlds shitiest shithead for quite some time now, i may be slinking my way to the gold

im trying out this new style called white trash & I think it’s very becoming of a lady

currently i’m a helpless drunk idiot helpless on a rock on a mountain in santa barbara because i seem to be terribly good making terribly bad decisions

Everything ordinary seems extraordinary under the light of a falling sun.

Everything ordinary seems extraordinary under the light of a falling sun.

that time i accidentally threw a lime at my coworkers skull.

colourmequixotic:

if i were the sun, i’d go down on that horizon too.

what she said.

colourmequixotic:

if i were the sun, i’d go down on that horizon too.

what she said.